is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
