Will you blow on my dice?
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
