beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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