a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
it's like heaven, but drunker
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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