We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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