Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
