let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
