we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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