he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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