I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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