Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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