Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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