I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
