god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
