You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
