the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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