You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
