i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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