I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
