fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
