She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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