well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
