No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
