I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
