Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
