Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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