arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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