The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
