I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Randomize
