You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
