You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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