just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
