no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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