Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
