Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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