yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
