Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
you made out with another girl for some wings
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
