But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
