I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
