sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
