He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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