wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
