Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
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