You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
