Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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