so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
