So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
