I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
