Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
So squirting runs in the family.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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