Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
