Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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