I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
