doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
it's great music for shaving your balls
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
