i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
